she writes

The rumors are true: I learned the alphabet at a very early age. Thankfully, I have never had to write an obituary, a "think piece" or an ad for Progressive Insurance. I have written several TV pilots and screenplays and aspire to have a human being read them and say, "Here is money." Following are my scripts and their short summaries:

 

Deuce Purgatory | Absurdist Comedy

How far will one deranged woman go to win a recreational tennis match?

Short film available upon request.

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The Gospel According to Peter | Satire

Jesus and his disciples are reality dating show contestants in this unhinged-yet-Biblically-accurate re-telling of the New Testament.

The Holy Bible meets Love Island.

​Play and pilot scripts and, hell, show recording available upon request.​

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Desperada | Dramedy Western

An unlikely mother-daughter pair each set out to get revenge. One woman gets hers.​

​Thelma & Louise meets 3:10 to Yuma.

Feature available upon request.​

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New York Story | Absurdist Rom-Com

​A working woman goes on a date with a firefighter in New York City.

Sex and the City meets Wet Hot American Summer.​​

Proof-of-concept short available upon request.

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Sanctuary | Horror Comedy

The manager of a new pilates studio meets a monster in the basement interested in membership.

Barbarian meets Annihilation.

Proof-of-concept short available upon request.

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Mr. Right | Absurdist Rom-Com

​A lonely woman new to LA connects with a grow-in-water boyfriend.

Obsession meets ​Lars and the Real Girl.

Short available upon request.

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In the meantime, see below for some things I have written to live and die on the Internet dot com: